To say that I have a few things on my mind here lately is about the biggest understatement of the century. While the list is long, most of it is not really blog appropriate, but more journal appropriate so perhaps I will find an outlet for some of those thoughts there...and soon as I feel as though my free time is running out as the big countdown is on.
Perhaps a subject that I do feel comfortable discussing is the fact that I just watched a Hallmark movie (it aired last night, but I DVRed it for today's entertainment) and while the movies are always touching, I really watch it for the Hallmark commercials. I know, most of the time, I can't stand commercials, but for some reason, I have always been drawn to Hallmark's. Maybe it is because I find something sweet, endearing, or just down right tear jerking when I watch them, but none of the less, it is one of my guilt pleasures in life. Today as I watched "Loving Leah", the commercials particularly moved me--some I have seen before, some I had never seen, but there was one commercial where it asked, "Where do Hallmark cards come from?" They were interviewing the writers of some of these cards and they were telling where there inspiration came from on some of their selected cards. One woman talked about the "intoxicating scent" that she had when her baby was born. For some reason, the way she spoke about it brought a tear to my eye. They follow it up with a funny one, then they go to another one where it is a woman talking about a card for a friend who had just had a miscarriage and how that feels. Bring on the waterworks is all I can say. Even though, I am out of danger for having a miscarriage, I still worry that something could go wrong, especially so close to the end. I know everyone could throw out all kinds of statistics proving that I have nothing to seriously worry about, but still it is my worry, my scare, my crazy moment, and quite frankly, I feel entitled to have it, so no lectures please. I have faith in God, my doctor, my body, and my husband that everything will be okay in the end, but never the less, the thought is still there. While the thoughts do not consume me, it is something lingering in the back of my head and in that way, February 3rd can not get here fast enough. In plenty of other ways, February 3rd can take its sweet time.
Just my thoughts for today on a very gloomy gray day in Frisco, Texas.
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1 comment:
Hang in there, friend - I know exactly those thoughts you're talking about. I thought that on my 2nd go-round, I'd be more logical, blah blah blah... but I still worry just as much as I ever did.
And I wish I could tell you it goes away, but just as soon as she's born you'll realize that you can't help but worry for the safety and health of this precious life you've been entrusted with - and that's totally normal.
Probably not what you wanted to hear - sorry 'bout that :) Know that we'll be praying for a safe rest-of-the-pregnancy and delivery for you and the little one!!
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