10 Years.

Ten years ago today, the greatest national disaster of my life time happened.  Maybe ever depending on your opinion.  Ten years ago today, the world came to a silent halt as the nation stood in disbelief that the unthinkable had happened.  America had been attacked in the most gruesome and cowardly of ways.  Thousands of innocent lives perished in the blink of an eye.  Ten years ago today, I remember exactly where I was and exactly what I was doing.

It seems that every generation before, especially in the last century has had something that they say, I remember where I was when....for my parents, it was when President Kennedy was shot, for my grandparents, it was Pearl Harbor, and so on.  For my geneartion, it is Tuesday, September 11th, 2001.  I cringe to think of what it will be for Elizabeth's generation.  I pray that her geneartion will be the first to know what world peace is like.  I cling to that hope, but the realist in me thinks something differently.  I think back to where I was 10 years ago.  It was my last sememster in college and I had moved back in with my parents as it was a lot easier to do than to find a roomate for a semester.  I was in my childhood room, getting ready for my 9 something class.  I was going through my usual motions of getting ready for the day and of course, that included listening to the radio.  As I was brushing my hair, I heard the radio cut in and say that an airplane had hit one of the World Trade Center towers in New York City.  I ran to my mom's room where she had the television on listening to some morning show.   She was drying her hair and never heard them start to show what was being covered on the screen.  I stopped her from the hair dryer, told her what I had heard on the radio, and then rushed to the TV and we both saw the second plane hit the second tower right before our eyes.

What happened after that, I am not entirely sure.  I know that I went to campus for my 9 something class and people had no idea what had happened.  No one had come into the room and told them that America was under attack.  What I do remember is that once word got out, the campus of 40,000 plus became eirely quite.  The only sounds you could hear was TVs showing 24 hour coverage on screens that never showed TV, but instead schedules of events.  Large crowds gathered around ever available TV, but no one said anything.  You would occasionally see silent tears, people with hands clasped together, praying, hoping, and asking God questions.  I remember going to work and sitting in my boss' office reconciling receipts with nothing on but the radio that had no music, just people's voices talking about the rubble, the dust, the ash, and all of the lives lost.  I remember lots of random details.  But what I am most proud about is that I remember the overwhelming surge of patriotism.  I feel sad today knowing that that surge of patriotism was not nearly as long lived as it should have been.

Then one day, the TV slowed the reporting on 9-11 events, the radio started playing music again, and people started going back to their lives.  Never forgetting what had just happened, but moving on with their lives just like we needed to so that the world would become somewhat normal again.  This was not the end of 9-11 by a long shot, but it is what happend.  While I did not know a single soul that perished in New York, or the Pentagon, or in a field in Pennslyania, it still affected my life.  Gone was a feeling of safety and security in a nation that had not know at attack on it's homeland, but replaced with fear and suspesion of those around you, huge events and the safety that was there, and how would America pick up all of its pieces and be put back together again.  It was a time of emotional stress.

As the ten year anniversary approached this year, I remarked to Sean that I was not ready for it and I did not need it.  Newscasts and programming has revolved around stories about 9-11 and I told Sean that I did not need the reminder as I lived it and those images will forever be etched in my mind.  While I said I did not need it, at the end of the day, I do need it.  I need to remember, I need to look at those ten years since and look at where we are now.  I need to appreciate that I have men and women around the world who fight every single day for my existance in this country that is the home of the free and brave.  I need to remember even if it is painful.

George W. Bush recently did and intereview about September 11th and he remarked that this too would one day be just another day on the calendar just like Pearl Harbor day.  And he is right, it will be, but not just yet.  There is a part of me that hopes that it will be like that and another part that does not ever hope that we forget the magnitude of what this day means.

Photo credit

Today, I insisted on attending church.  The message was about praying for your enemy.  I have been thinking about that message a lot today and I am sure that it will follow me for quite a bit longer too.  Tonight, as I write this, the TV is showing someone playing Taps at one of the countless ceremonies that occured today.  As sad and mournful as that song is, it is a song of remembrance.  I am glad I had the chance to remember today with something to think about tomorrow and all the days after that.  I remember...